


New Beginnings

by unbreakable13



Category: Pride and Prejudice & Related Fandoms, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: F/M, Forced Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25478659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unbreakable13/pseuds/unbreakable13
Summary: It has been 6 months since the day Mr. Darcy proposed to Elizabeth in the rain. In a moment of weakness, the two share a passionate kiss that is witnessed by Mr. Collins, forcing the two into a marriage.Work inspired by A Slip in Time by melodramaqueen
Relationships: Elizabeth Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy
Comments: 15
Kudos: 433





	New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Slip in Time](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9720242) by [melodramaqueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/melodramaqueen/pseuds/melodramaqueen). 



> This story is inspired by A Slip in Time, a WIP by melodramaqueen. It's an absolutely wonderful story and I would highly recommend it!  
> You can read her story first (at least the first chapter) to enjoy this one more. But the summary gives enough context for the story that you won't have trouble understanding this one if you haven't read it.

**6 months after the day of the proposal**

\--

_My dearest wife Elizabeth,_  
_I know I am more fortunate than I deserve to be able to call you my wife. The amiability and perhaps even what can be called a friendship that you and I currently share should be more than enough. After my behavior in the past, is this any less than a miracle that I have you here in my life for the rest of my days? Had things gone slightly differently, you would have refused to see my face ever again after that day in Hunsford and I would have been the last one to blame you for it._

_But instead by some cruel trick of fate, you are here, married to the last man you wanted to marry. The thought pains me. Not for myself, I will confess that I have oftentimes unashamedly rejoiced that even in these circumstances, at least you are here with me. But for you... I know for you, life has been unfair. Though I'd like to believe that your life at Pemberly has not been completely unhappy, I know this is not the life you chose. I am reasonably certain that you would have been living a happier life right now if it weren't for me... Had I not allowed my passions to overwhelm my senses so completely, we would not have found ourselves in the difficult predicament in front of Mr. Collins. I wish there had been a way out of that situation without injuring you in a manner worse than I did by forcing you into a marriage you did not wish._

_I think about that day often... Every word you spoke has been etched in my memory as if it were yesterday. I have tried to right my wrongs, all the reasons you had for hating me, I have thought over them over and over... That I could at least fix things between Charles and Jane gives me some peace. Towards your family as well, I know my previous judgments were unreasonably harsh. Yours is such a loving family and without them being how they are, you wouldn't be who you are. I have since felt grateful that they have accepted me and even Georgiana into their circle of love. I try hard not to form opinions about persons and situations unknown to me as quickly now. I try to be more considerate of people I am interacting with... And selfishly I wonder if you ever notice that I am trying to become a man worthier than I used to be, worthy enough that had things been different and had I asked for your hand a second time, maybe you could have willingly accepted me._

_Most days I am happy I would say, I know I have no right to complain. You, the only woman I ever loved, is my wife, even if it's just in name. You have been such a wonderful companion these past months. Our conversations are often the best parts of my day. You've taken on so much of my burden in the running of Pemberly, and more importantly in the caring of Georgiana. I have tried to be a good brother to her but it's easy to see that what she really needed was a friend and sister such as you. You've brought back much of her childhood vivacity that I sorely missed since the incident in Ramsgate. I can not thank you enough for that. But sometimes I even grow envious of my own Georgie when I look at the sweet friendship you two have come to share. I think to myself... Why can't I casually put my arm around you whenever I desire? Why can't I lovingly exclaim "I love you", whenever the urge strikes me? That urge strikes me so often... I couldn't even begin to tell you about it... It's honestly getting much worse. Having you near me all the time is everything I could ask for, but you grow too intoxicating._

_Some nights when you wish me good night with that smile and retire to your room, I just want to crawl behind you and beg you to just take me. To take my poor soul in your hands and do with it as you wish. I just want to surrender._

_That would be unfair to you, very unfair... And that is why I haven't done that even at my weakest. You, who have tried to embrace this unexpected turn your life took with as much grace as possible, who has been able to build, I hope, somewhat of a satisfactory life here, don't deserve to have all of that ruined by a man who has perhaps already brought enough ruin to your happiness._

_My mind grows weary from all these thoughts... writing them out helps keep me sane. I like to imagine that perhaps there will come a day when I would actually hand you one of these letters and that you would embrace me instead of turning away in anger or disappointment... Foolish daydreams of a restless mind._

  
The letter ended there. Elizabeth stared at the page. She couldn't really understand what she had just read... What... Why would he... 

She had come into his study to look for the letter she had received from her mother yesterday, informing of her of Kitty's engagement. She had brought it here to share the news with him and then forgotten to take it back. Looking through the letters on his desk, she had seen the unfinished letter addressed to herself. Curiosity had gotten the best of her and she had picked it up.

There was a noise at the door and she looked up to see Fitzwilliam entering. A smile started to spread across his face as he saw her but it turned into an expression of absolute horror when his eyes fell on the letter she was holding.

"Oh God..." he uttered and sat down, or more like crashed into the chair next to him, his head in his hands. Elizabeth was speechless, unsure of what her reaction should be... and then she saw that his hands were trembling.

She rushed forward sitting down on the floor in front of him. She still hadn't come to grips with what she had just read, but as unexpected as the contents of that letter had been, seeing her husband in the current state was even more unexpected. She generally considered him to be a very calm and collected sort of person, he let out his true emotions so very rarely. She was at a loss as to what she should do. Unable to think of anything better she just leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him tightly. She had never embraced him before but any compunction she might have felt at initiating such an intimate gesture was overcome by her concern for his well being.

She spoke frantically, willing him to calm down, "Oh Fitzwilliam, I am so sorry! I should not have read it, when you hadn't actually given it to me... It was so wrong of me... " She didn't know what to say next... She had no idea what was going through his mind that had made him react this way...

She felt him trying to raise his head and she immediately tried to move away until his hands gripped her arms near the shoulders making her stop, her face mere inches away from his, her arms still wrapped around his neck for the most part. He was staring straight into her eyes. 

"Are you... Why are you apologizing? To me?" His eyes seemed hollow... so unreadable. 

"You hadn't intended on sharing that letter with me. It was wrong of me to come here and read it without your permission", she spoke quietly.

He looked down and let out a sigh, releasing the grip on her arms. She slowly sank back down on the floor.

"Are you... Is there nothing else you would like to say?"

Elizabeth considered the situation they were in... She had accidentally stumbled onto his true feelings regarding her, feelings that he may never have shared willingly and perhaps... Perhaps now was the time to speak honestly.

For months now they had been playing an invisible game with each other. Each gesture... each word... could mean so much or nothing at all... Always wondering... Always second-guessing... She had spent countless nights trying to decipher where they stood, what their life was, and what it could be. 

Though once he had professed ardent love and had asked for her hand, the events that followed, she was certain had made him change his mind about her. He had probably created a very different Elizabeth in his imagination who he loved ardently, but the bitter insults she had hurled at him after his proposal must have certainly destroyed that mirage. 

In the past five months of sharing a home together, she had liked to imagine that after knowing the real Elizabeth, he might slowly grow to love her over time. But she had never imagined that he still... that all this time... despite everything... he was in love with her. Had he been agonizing over it in such a manner for so many months? Did the depth of his feelings really run so deep?

"Why did you write that letter if you did not mean to send it...? It seemed to imply that you had written other such letters as well..." she spoke hesitantly.

He spoke in a mostly steady voice, slowly returning to the calm and collected persona that she knew well, but he still refused to meet her eyes. "I... I did write similar letters before. I forget how many... Maybe in the beginning I did want to send them to you, but couldn't and then after we were married I decided it was better not to."

"Why not? What changed after the wedding?"

He let out another sigh. "I saw how sad you were to be leaving your family and home, having to come here instead. And I did not want to make things harder for you. And once we were on good terms with each other, I did not want to do anything that might destroy our peace."

"Did it cross your mind that all brides are a little sad on their wedding day?"

He kept looking down and didn't say anything, so Elizabeth continued.

"May I ask why were you so distraught at my discovery of the letter just now?" She added gently, "Did you think I'd be upset?"

"I... I did not know... " he paused, "I did not express myself in a manner that was..." Another pause. His next words out in half a whisper, "I'm afraid I have no idea what you think of me anymore... Can we... remain friends still?"

"I love you."

His head snapped up at her words, there was shock written all over his face. Suddenly, she felt embarrassed. She knew saying these words to her own husband should be the most natural thing in the world, but it wasn't. But this man... who was so kind and gentle and caring... whom she had treated with such contempt... who had seen her at her worst... who was sitting in front of telling her about his concern for her happiness without caring for his own pain... if he didn't deserve her love, who would?

So she forced herself to meet his eyes despite her embarrassment and she whispered, "I really do." A smile spread across her face as she did.

He looked still in shock... Elizabeth reached out and placed a hand on the side of his face. The touch seemed to rouse him from the shock. He placed his own hand over hers and leaned into her touch, closing his eyes. He spoke in a whisper, "Truly?"

And with that small whisper, suddenly all the uncertainty and agony that had been weighing on her was gone... He loved her and she him. A great lightness of mind hit her and she laughed out. She leaned forward before she could feel hesitant and placed a kiss on his other cheek. "Yes... Truly..." She whispered near his ear. When she moved back, his eyes were finally open. He was staring into her with such intensity. She smiled at him, trying to convey that now... everything was right... as it should be... They could be carefree and happy and in love...

The intensity did not leave his eyes... And she was reminded of the last time he had been staring at her with those same intense blue eyes... That day her anger had made her crush her lips to his... But this time a very different emotion made her move forward till her lips met his. His response was much the same... He remained still for a moment and then her actions and words caught up to him... He slid off the chair onto his knees like her, his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her close. His lips became more urgent against hers and she reciprocated, her arms wrapping around his neck. She didn't know how much she had been longing for this... The memory of the kiss they had shared in the rain before everything had gone wrong had haunted her ever since... And now she was back in his arms... Where she had wanted to be for so long.

When the two parted they were both panting. He still seemed like he hadn't come to grips with what had just transpired. So she gently placed her head on his shoulder, arms still around his neck until he finally let out a sigh and allowed his body to relax into her. They stayed like that, without either of them saying anything until there was a knock at the door.

"Fitzwilliam?"

It was Georgiana. Elizabeth slowly stood up, as Fitzwilliam called out, "A moment, Georgiana." He stood up as well and she made her way to open the door.

"Oh, there you are, Elizabeth. I only came here to ask Fitzwilliam if he knew you where you were."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I had something to discuss with Fitzwilliam. Why don't you wait in the library? I'll come find you and then we can head out for our walk."

"Okay, I will."

She gave a bright smile to her brother in farewell and left. Elizabeth closed the door and slowly turned around to face him. Their eyes met. His expression was still serious. She smiled. She felt so happy and she wanted to share this happiness with him, but she realized that he needed to take his time. This had been more sudden for him than her. She had known that he had held her in great regard once and may do so again. But he... He thought that maybe she hated him still.

She held his gaze. And then, he started walking towards her, stopping a few inches away. He raised his hand and with the gentlest of touches, stroked her cheek, resting his hand on the side of her neck. There was such tenderness on his face... He leaned in and placed a short hesitant kiss upon her lips. And then another one... and another one. She reached out and found his other hand and intertwined her fingers with his. He rested his forehead against hers and when she opened her eyes, there was a shy smile beginning to break out on his face. She smiled widely in return and gave the hand she was still holding a squeeze. This time her words were clear and confident.

"Fitzwilliam Darcy, I love you."

In response, he pulled her closer and in between kisses, he murmured against her lips, "Elizabeth Darcy... I love... I love... I love you. You've made me the happiest man."

They held onto each other for a long while, neither of them willing to move away. But eventually, Elizabeth remembered.

"I have to go... Georgiana is waiting."

He nodded and stepped away from her. She took a deep breath. He was standing a few feet away, and she almost chose to walk up to him and embrace him again. But there was no hurry... They had all the time in the world. The rest of their lives to spend together... So she left the room with a parting glance that held the promise of new beginnings.


End file.
